Guest Writer – Progress Onwuka
It isn’t always easy to be a positive influence on kids as parents, because like every other human being, we also have flaws.
We are role models, not perfect and we can’t always remain positive. We’ll have our buttons pushed (sometimes, we would even regret having kids in the first place and may think of selling them off😅), have our ‘off days’, question our place, our parenting style and abilities. That’s because we are human.
As much as we try to be superheroes to our kids, we should also note that every superhero has limitations/weaknesses.
Superman may see through walls, fly to space and back, but he has a weakness, kryptonite.
Spiderman has the ability to cling to surfaces and even shoot webs, but his abilities are limited. He doesn’t have super speed like The Flash or an armor like Ironman.
All we can do is show good attitudes and characters that they can emulate.
Positive parenting is leading your child towards learning good values and having well rounded beliefs. It is a series of methods, skills, attributes, mindsets, internal dialogues and much more. It is also a place where parents find the balance between mind, body, spirit, feelings and intuition.
Truth is, we would fail many times, make a lot of mistakes, but we can’t just give up because as superheroes, we are responsible.
Here are some ways we can influence our kids positively.
Think about what messages you’re passing across to them. You can’t be perfect, so don’t try to be. Just try your best to be a force of positivity and guidance for your kids. Be an example to them in character, knowing that everything you do, sends a message across. If you’re not an honest parent, your kids either end up being dishonest or thinking every other person is.
Do your best to set boundaries for them and stand by those boundaries even if they get mad at you. Kids would always test you to see if you’ll give in under enough pressure. Sometimes, parents get frustrated when kids always do the very thing they tell them not to. Growing up, I had always wondered why the particular things I was asked not to do, was what I wanted to do, or ended up doing. Trust mummy and daddy, the spankings we got always drove home the message when nothing else did. Daddy never let us get our way..NEVER! When something was off limits, no matter how much we complained or made a fuss, we couldn’t get him to change his mind..lol..his word was “ye” and “amen”. This taught us valuable life lessons, we couldn’t always have our way, we had to respect other peoples wishes and other values and morals that came from respecting people.
Strive to be impeccable with your words. Meaning, when you say something, do it. This was one area my dad failed. I remember all the times daddy made promises he never fulfilled. It got to the point where we stopped believing his words and only his actions. Don’t be wishy-washy with your words and also be careful with the things you say around your kids. When you speak bad about people, utter negativities and tell lies, your kids would do the same.
Try to create an open relationship. Where they know that no matter what they do, you’re there to love, support and correct them if need be.
A happy family needs leaders and part time superheroes but mostly what a healthy family needs are parents who are willing to show their flaws, emotions and inabilities. These beautiful attributes make us human and give your kids permission to do the same.
In many ways, I believe children are blank canvases and as parents, we help paint, shape and mold them into the people they become. So lets begin today painting, shaping and molding positive pictures, then and only then can we truly become superheroes.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Progress Onwuka is a young talented writer, aspiring to be a medical doctor. She is 17 years old, lives in Warri, Delta State and her hobbies are writing, travelling, reading, singing (really loud) and sleeping.