While watching the housemates in the Big Brother Naija house debate on who to blame in a failed love relationship during their recent wager task, I remembered how a guest host on the SpringShow podcast talked about the love languages and how people express love differently.
There are indeed five love languages – words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts, and physical touch. Everyone has a primary love language that they “speak” and love to be “spoken” too in return. So in any relationship, whether it is between friends, couples, or siblings, if both parties do not really understand each others’ love languages, there will definitely be a misunderstanding and misinterpretation of actions and words. For example, an individual whose love language is physical touch tries explaining to his spouse about how important it is to probably just give him a hug whenever they have a couple’s “fight” as that could help him feel better, but because his spouse does not understand this, she will probably assume that he is just trying to get attention or just being manipulative, hence the reason they just might keep having issues just because the wife has not taken the time to understand what her husband’s love language is. This is one reason why some relationships fail.
Another reason is lack of proper communication. It is sad how as humans, we often want people to read our minds and know what we want at a particular time. To a large extent, this is not possible. It is only in rare cases where some people bond so well to the point of knowing each others’ needs even without speaking a word. But in a situation where your friend or your spouse cannot read your mind or your emotions, it is important to clearly state how you are feeling and what you want. I learnt this from experience. Assumption is also another reason for failed relationships. In a situation where people communicate effectively, there will be no room for assumptions because it will be easier for you to just say what you are thinking and if your thoughts are wrong, there is a chance for you to be clarified properly instead of just assuming things.
In summary, it is important for you to know your own love language and that of your partner/friend/sibling, or whoever. That way, your relationship can be a smooth one. It is also more important to always know how to communicate with them effectively and properly. In clear words, say what is on your mind…if you want answers to a question, ask. If you need something, request for it.
Ps: Men that are not “men of love but of war”…lol…please learn to express your feelings. I have come to know that your actions or words alone is not enough (based on discussions with several ladies). So we the association of female folks, we are requesting that you say the words and show the actions too.
I will be talking more about this on the next episode of the SpringShow podcast. So anticipate!