Since it is Throwback Thursday, I will like to share an article I recently found in my journal that I wrote three years ago.
“I do not know how to start this…too much on my mind right now. Sometimes you just need something to happen (probably a statement someone made or maybe a conversation you just walked in on) before you can make sense of a previous event. You see, sometimes we are often blinded by our worries that we do not see, feel, or sense the pain another individual might be going through. We feel like our parents or those we look up to are superhumans and then we totally forget that they are just humans like us with their own worries and pains that they sometimes cannot express only because they have no one to tell or no shoulder to cry on.
Most times, these people that we see as superhumans go through difficult times but just because other people look up to them for one reason or the other, they tend to have these issues all bottled up. A problem shared, they say, is half solved. But then, when these people cannot really get to share their problems with anyone, how then do we expect them to feel and how can their problems be half solved either?
For instance, people look up to their pastors for guidance and counselling, but then when these pastors have their own issues, who would they go to? I guess you will say they should go to God and the truth is, that is what they would probably do. But these people are humans like us! I can only imagine the psychological and emotional stress that they go through.
I was just listening to a friend who talked about how his mum had been gone for five years now and how he has been able to survive through it all despite how difficult losing one’s parent could be. Immediately, my mind flashed back to just a week ago when my mum told me it has been nineteen years now since her mum left her and I made a very insensitive and unreasonable comment. I said “na that one you dey think now?” Then mum said “mama, it is the way we are now, that is the way I was with my mother” and I just told her “please let us not talk about that one now”. I said that because so many times I really try to run away from the thoughts of losing my mum and after my friend made the comment about how he has been trying to survive since his mum passed on, my mind raced to the day I had the conversation with my mum.
As sad and frightening as it may be, the truth is, we all would die someday. But then, it is how we live our lives now that matters – how many people we would have helped at one point in time, how many people we would have given our shoulders for them to cry on, how many people we would have paid attention to their problems and their pains, etc. Probably they only needed someone to talk to but they could not find any one who was sensitive enough to make them talk. We should not be blind to these things. I just kept wondering how my mum felt the day she thought about her mum despite the fact that it had been nineteen years, the pain she could have felt and the one person (me) she wanted to share it with, ran off.
I am writing this because I really needed to clear my head since I had a lot on my mind – thoughts ranging from my young friend who lost his mum five years ago, to myself who lost a dear friend six years ago (I can still remember how pained I was), and then to my mum who lost her mum nineteen years ago. Then I ask myself ‘if I could mourn my dear friend the way I did, how much more my mum?’. She is my best company and I love her very much, so I just keep praying that God keeps her alive for me but then what would I do when God decides it is time to take her home????? Well, I only console myself with the fact that there is a God who comforts His children and replaces their sadness with joy and laughter. The ONE who owns us all and can decide at ANY TIME to call His children home… And this brings me to the question “where will you go after you leave this world and what will you be remembered for?”
That is why I mentioned that how we live our lives is very important. Let us live our lives doing good, showing kindness, loving others, and helping people. No one knows tomorrow and we can never tell when it would be our turn to leave this world. Pay close attention to the person beside you. You will never know if the person is in need unless you are sensitive and pay close attention. God has placed you there for a reason! Help someone today!”
There goes the article and I hope you learn something from it. You can also share your thoughts or any experience you may have had in the comment section.